Bad habits

I’ve gotten into the habit lately of taking a few shots of alcohol so I can relax and just write something. Its a bad habit, but writing is full of bad habits.

Writing is staying up late, staring at a computer screen. It’s clearing your browsing history just in case, and having nothing but a bag of fatty chips for dinner because who has time to cook when you’re nearly done with the first draft of the next chapter? It’s having that extra smoke and it’s putting aside everything to just watch one more episode of your favorite show before pulling up the writing program of your choice.

Writing is staring at blank documents and re-re-re reading what you have already written and trying not to drive yourself up the wall editing before you’ve given it time to soak and going back over it with a new set of eyes.

I’ve been working on my book the past few weeks, and I’ve not much to show for it. I’m proud to say that between work and the calls of my online friends, I’ve managed to make major headway on the story outline, character redesigning, and wrapped up the first draft of the first chapter, only to get drunk and dive into the second one.

…Then my computer froze, but luckily, I had saved my work. That is the one good habit I have.

Tomorrow night I will rest, and after that, I aim to finish the draft of chapter two within a week.

Not cut out for humor

Earlier today I posted a short story that I had been working on for three days. In my cellphone’s notepad, I put “Sci Fi short story where a ‘I’m more intelligent than everyone else because society is primitive’ type finds out that aliens are easy going and hate him“. I tried to write it, and as these things tend to do, it took a life of its own. A confusing, messy, pointless life. I wanted to write a funny story, but I felt bad when I scheduled the post, felt worse when it posted, and after 3 hours, I deleted it off the face of the planet. It got 5 views. I’m bad at writing jokes. It makes sense since I tend to not be a very funny person overall.

I know this because I’m bad at thinking on my feet, save for a few flukes, and it’s usually my reactions to things happening in real time that make people laugh. Humor writing is even worse for me because I tend to over think it and things end up not being very funny at all. I did a bad job with the humor sci-fi story I left posted for three hours, and if I ever try to use that plot line again, I’ll have to make it some sort of sci-fi horror story or something.

For a while I aspired to write a few articles for Cracked, and then realized that I’m not very funny and that even if I did come up with a decent idea for an article, there was a slim chance they would actually take it. I’ll still read on there with no hard feelings, though.

I know that it takes quite a bit of skill and work put into it to become a humor writer, just like with other type of writing, but I think I would rather not go against my natural grain. I’ll stick to the emotional romance stories and the creepypasta-esque shorts.

If you’d like a pointless story from my daily life, the last thing I did that made someone laugh was when I walked into the back room of my workplace today to fill up a small bucket with cleaning solution and hot water when I heard my manager jokingly call out, “Spencer, what the fuck are you doing?” and using my best monotone voice, I replied “Whatever I want.” It emitted a chuckle or two from everyone in the back room. It was also the funniest thing that I said all day, and that’s not saying much.

-Spencer Holly

“First Blog Post”

Technically, it would have never have been my first blog post, just my first blog post on this specific blog. I have a habit of making blogs and deleting them or abandoning them, sometimes even before I get to post anything meaningful or get a single follower. It’s a bit sad for the dead, cold blogs I’ve left behind, but the same could be said for all my incomplete journals, sketchbooks, and the google docs tab I’ve had open for two months that has a half-completed story on it.

Anyway.

I hope that in the future I can keep up with this blog and help my stories reach new audiences. I’m working on a book right now, but in between rough nights staring at Zenwriter, I like to pop out short stories here and there.

I made this page on a spur of the moment decision, so maybe later I’ll update it some more and make it look like I know more about website design and WordPress than I actually do.

-Spencer Holly