Six Times Removed

Deep breath. Unblock. Add friend. Now I wait.
My heart pounds in anticipation as the minutes pass by. This’ll be the sixth time I’ve gone brought this process with him. I wonder why he still wordlessly accepts my friend requests, but I’m certainly not going to say anything to him unless he brings it up first. And maybe even then, I won’t answer, and I’ll just block him again and start the process over once more several months from now.

Within half an hour, he accepts my request, and I open his highly private Facebook profile, which was now accessible to me once more. I scroll through his posts from the past few weeks, ignoring the “About tab”. I don’t want to see the thing that I already know.

As always, his profile is the opposite of mine. Mine is consistently filled with posts about charities, workers rights, political matters of all sorts, and of course, news stories about animals being cute. One was even about a play that I had been cast in. His was full of posts about his daily life, with tons of likes and comments. My posts rarely got any at all. He posted jokes and memes, along with photos of his pet rats and his long term boyfriend.

God, he was beautiful.

Continue reading

Character Development

Character Development

All authors have a certain special way of developing their characters. I have no idea how exactly I’m going to develop mine. Filling out a questionnaire about them doesn’t feel right, and writing snippets of her daily life or her in unique situations doesn’t quite do it for me either. It almost feels forced, somehow. I’ve been working on fleshing out one of my characters for my book, seeing as I can’t get very far if I don’t know her very well, and things have been a little rocky.

At this point in the story, my main character is beginning to develop and her inner desires are becoming evident. I don’t know how to bring her through the first story arc, because I don’t know her as well as I’d like to. I’ll just have to spend some of my downtime, and my uptime, trying to get into my main character’s headspace.

This, readers, is the only real way I can develop my characters. It’s probably super common, but for me to write someone completely different than me, I’ll have to do some hands on field research. That’s why I’m sitting in a public place, writing things in a notebook in between tapping away on my phone, and drinking an overpriced coffee like a pretentious cliche.

That’s totally something that my character would do. Too bad I’m not dressed for the part. 

-Spencer Holly 

The Internet Is A Distraction

Once again, I am back with a non-story related update. I’m working on a short story that I think is quite interesting, and based off of a dream I had years ago. 

All I have to do is edit my notes to have it make sense, and also to remove the giant vibrator that has a time travel setting. It’s easier said than done.

Anyways. For the last week or so there hasn’t really been wifi at my home. It’s entirely out of my control. My data plan on my phone is exhausted and I’m on reduced speed right now, which suuuuuucks. At least Reddit is still kind of working. And WordPress, sometimes. 

I’ve managed to write a few pages of my book in the past few days. I’m struggling with it, especially because of my decision to rewatch the entire Avatar: The Last Airbender series. Thank goodness my roommate gave me all access to her DVD collection. I’ve also set myself on the task of reworking my entire farm in Stardew Valley.  It’s very difficult to dedicate time to writing under these self inflicted circumstances. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll be able to crank out a few more pages. Maybe finish a chapter. Who knows.

It’s just so hard to focus, even without wifi and the whole entire internet to distract me. I absolutely suspect that my ADHD has everything to do with this. 

-Spencer Holly

I Still Exist

I Still Exist

I wrote this story well over a year ago. The only other place you can find it online is on the Tumblr page of fifteenhours-creepystories. I really love that blog, and often go there to get my fix of original horror stories. This version of the story is slightly different than the original that I wrote so long ago, and I think the ending is much better and less anti-climactic. I’ve also changed the title of the story. I also originally posted this story on an old, cold, dead WordPress I used to have before I deleted the entire thing. 


If anyone is reading this, I can honestly say that I’d be surprised. Not surprised that someone was reading this, but surprised that my words managed to reach someone. It would mean that in some way, I’m still here, and I still exist. It’s the only thing that I want. It started years ago; before I was aware of it. I faded away, and I’m not sure if I’m really still here, and the world is ignoring me, or if I really don’t exist anymore. I want someone, at least one person, to know my story, and I’m scared that it’s too late for me.

Continue reading

Social Obligations & Other Content Creators

Social Obligations & Other Content Creators

I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to make a post about this, but last night I spent a solid 100$ at an arcade on opening night and walked out with two plush bears I earned fair and square from UFO Catchers. I’m very proud of them. I also got about a thousand or so tickets for the prize counter, but I’m going to save those for later.

Though I was very interested in the arcade itself, and more importantly the bar on the lower level, I only went on the very first day it was open because a friend of mine, Crane Princess, was planning on being there. In fact, I’m fairly certain that I’m going to be included in her video about the opening night of the arcade itself. Neato burrito!

I also got to meet ArcadeJackPotPro, and even though I’ve never heard of him before he gave me a neon yellow Garfield plush. I’ve returned the gesture by following his social media.

The outing was quite fun, and my roommate also joined Crane Princess and I after some time, but before she arrived I felt very strange about the whole thing. I was part of a posse. A youtuber’s meetup event. I, and a few of Crane’s other fans, milled around her and followed her while we all played games together. I’m not very good at connecting with other content creators, and I’m not entirely sure that you can call me a “content creator” when all I’ve done is faffed about on WordPress and posted one of my recent short stories. There will be more though, I absolutely promise you that.

It’s also strange for me to go an entire day without thinking about the book I’m working on or some kind of short story or.. well, anything. Normally, I have all kinds of words and stories and plotlines and characters flying through my head, but today, there was nothing. Maybe it was the lack of sleep and exhaustion from working for 8 hours or just having my mind focused on crane games and how to acquire the plushes that I seek, but it’s still a very strange sensation.

Not to mention, every time I go to help my friends or someone I know with their creative work, I always feel sort of out of place or pushy and not really all that important at all. Maybe I just never connected with other creators in the same way that I do with Crane Princess. After all, she’s been in my bedroom and my son pet cat really seemed to like her.

-Spencer Holly